I am a 60-plus-year-old kid that still works as an IT consultant. I hope to write a humorous, slightly apocryphal column with some real life insights.
What’s with those four trillion dot pixel cameras? I always complain when people take my picture. And what does a Shar-Pei dog have to do with pictures of me? Well, a Shar-Pei dog has thousands of wrinkles due to the folds of its skin. So I am not interested in out wrinkling a dog! Then there are the freckles, age spots, and skin bumps that pop out of me! I now relate to those famous Hollywood stars that have their pictures air brushed.
Speaking of pictures, I like baby pictures as much as anyone. But come on! Some of those babies are redder than a maraschino cherry. And those goofy wisps of hair that grow out the back of their heads. And I am talking about my baby pictures. Yes, mom, I know I was so cute when I was little and I would be happy to see hundreds of pictures from my pre-walking days. Please don’t make me say that my eyes are gorgeous duplicates of yours.
As to eyes, there is nothing like cat pictures. Cat eyes are very cool when it comes to color, but not cool when I keep sneezing around them (and causing picture shakes). Those dog pictures with overcoats, hats, capes, vests, and whatever are a bit much for me. I do take a sneaky delight when I take pictures of the dog owners and their pets in matching outfits. And there is really something to the observation that dogs and their owners look alike in many cases, especially when they are eating.
Writing about photography, makes me wonder why in certain pictures I look really old. But in other pictures, I look like “The most interesting man in the world”. If you haven’t seen the ad on TV, you won’t get my remark! I don’t know how to really smile, so I have a half grin smile when someone says “say cheese”. Or I have the dead fish eye stare or as I like to call it “stop staring at me look”. I would not have made it as a smile ambassador at our local fast food franchises. Smile and the whole world smiles with you, except for those of us who have droopy lip corners!