I am a 60-plus-year-old kid that still works as an IT consultant. I hope to write a humorous, slightly apocryphal column with some real life insights.
This is a true story and the actual names are removed to protect the guilty (although you can guess who was an active participant). Of course, this emergency happened right before a family celebratory event. I noticed our kitchen sink was backing up (okay I was one of the participants). Could it be because I was peeling potatoes along with onions and I shoved the remains down the sink drain hole? The phrase “garbage in, garbage out” is really appropriate here.
Okay, so I get a little intense during football games. I gave two speeches about Vince Lombardi in my high school speech class. My speech teacher did dock me for reenacting Vince’s “What the hell’s is going on out here!?” And my best claim to NFL fame is that I played on a high school offensive line next to an All Pro football player. I like to use that line for free drinks at a sports bar.
So my blood pressure goes nuts during Packer games. I yell, pout, and cry out to God if they are not doing well. It was becoming too much for all the people around me. And striking the furniture with my forearms was too expensive in regards to replacement costs and of course the medical costs for my arm casts.
My apologies go to those who might be offended about my comments on cremation. In this case, the cremation was animal based, so it should not offend you too much. My mother had a dog that was called “Disco” because of the way he moved his hindquarters, during food begging maneuvers.
You thought I was talking about food, didn’t you? Well, carburetors are my weak points mechanically. I remember trying to fix my first car carburetor, and I was proud of myself. Then I started the car and gas was spewing out of the darn thing. So I got on the horn and had the car towed to my friendly mechanic.